The Gifts of Imperfection: The Dig Deep Button

“The dig –deep button is the secret level of pushing through when we are exhausted and overwhelmed.”     Brené Brown

We have all been there.

I term this the merciless invisible prod or whip that has no concern for my well being. 

I must keep going.....if I don’t complete everything as planned...I won’t feel good. 

I have over committed, overdone, over organized, over planned, and the result has been overwrought, overtired, over loyal, and overwhelmed. 

These are all signs of an overachiever. ‘I am an overachiever”...sounds impressive doesn’t it; a deceptively nice badge to wear.

Most the time I am not even aware I am wearing it....it’s much like being on a coach careening through life with a headless driver.

(can you believe I found a picture!)

Overachievers are also mindless victims.

I blame something.

My words are.....I have to, I have no other choice,...I need to.

The words “mediocre” or “Oh, well” make me shudder.

“I have pride” says the energizing whip

So I ask myself......Who’s tending me?

Whoa – now that slows me up.

Naah.....they need me.....I feel a surge of power sucking energy named importance combined with fear.

It is hard to drop the reins when one is on a mission....where would it leave me?  Unfinished....feeling guilty...feeling less than....feeling let down. 

If I remove the cloak of success....I fear I will be looked on as less than.  Worse still possibly blamed.

 

“I am supposed to be tending me”

Now that stops me in my tracks.

At this point as I am getting my wind....I reflect on all the times I have mindlessly misplaced my priorities.

I have abandoned myself

It is my own relentless drive that leaves me drained – the tender of my well being swept off...unnoticed......

left and lost in the dust.

Where do I feel perfectionism deviates from healthy striving and self improvement?

When it feels and is self-destructive. When it is controlling me and I am not controlling it.

Have I mastered perfectionism...no....I am aware though and 

I am getter better and better

 

 

I so hear the compassion and wisdom in Brené’s words when she feels overwhelmed.

“I didn’t force myself to start working or to do something productive.  Rather I prayerfully, intentionally, and thoughtfully did something restorative.”     Brené Brown