Gifts of Imperfection: Permission

Since I started telling friends and family that I was going to take this course others joined with me and we communicate via email.  It brings much joy to me to say my sister and daughter are part of this group.  A dear friend and I get together once a week to do our artwork.

Our first project was to draw and paint permission slips.

On these permission slips we are to write what we need to give ourselves permission for to make our lives less scary.   

Just to give you a little background so you understand what I put on my “permission slip”.

I have been conditioned to be a “star”.  I have been given permission to be one, encouraged to be one, and been told I am one.  So club foot and all ....

 

I danced. Yes, that's correct..... I danced.

 

Now doesn’t that say “Princess” all over it.

I warmly remember...anyone my Dad could rope into watching me dance in our basement... he did.  It is interesting as I remember this, not only am I relating to how I felt......I can now identify how my Dad felt.

My brother still jokingly complains he was scarred for life; on a family holiday trip back to Manitoba; he wanted to bring his favourite truck.  He was told there was no room....and to top it off....he had to sit on my costumes all the way from B.C. to Glenboro, Manitoba where I  (the dancing star....sorry bro) would put on a show for the relatives.

This has been a brief explanation of  one part of my childhood conditioning.....I am sure that there are many others like myself whose childhood had this type of conditioning... just in other ways.

I am not complaining as it was pretty sweet at the time but the result has been an inner drive to need to be "outstanding" or a “star” in some aspects of my life.   

This has proved to be a huge stress  and at times I have unknowingly allowed it to develop into a  relentless driving force that consumed me.

Fortunately I am selective so it does not apply to all tasks....only those I am really interested in.

Water painting is not one of them ....unfortunate for you.

Now to my “Permission Slips”

 Originality is important to me.

On the video Brené is painting square permission slips. So predictable....so ordinary.    I look over and see my post it notes.

 

I’m doing hearts for permission slips I decide. (would seem level of originality not quite as important) Quite pleased with myself.....I very grandiosely offer my friend the use of my idea.

She declines and says she is doing flowers.  I think yeah that’s another good idea.

Deciding what permission to give myself when I am scared .......takes a bit of thought ....I am not in an introspective mode in that moment.

I come up with two .....good enough.

We finish our projects and ask...should we email them to my sister (did not know my daughter was doing it at this time)

.....nah...we agree we will wait.... we don’t want our fabulous ideas to influence her. 

 

 My Permission Slips

Friend's Permission Slip

(ughhh! picture rotates itself every time......not sure the reason....tried everything....sorry friend.....sorry readers for the cricked necks)

 

Turns out my Sister is finished and has emailed hers.  We open it up. 

 

(For privacy I have cropped and only the top is shown. )

My friend and I look at each other....start to laugh.....”we should have been stealing from her” my friend says.

When I asked for permission from my sister to show her superior work and briefly told her what I was going to say.  She replied....

Get Real!

So I told her she needs to give herself permission to “be a star”.  (I am her older Sister, so that gives me permission to boss)

Unfortunately for my friend and I.....We Were Real!.

Good thing I had previously read the next chapter on Cultivating Authenticity- Letting Go Of What Others Think

Ideas From Others

My Daughter's Intention

 

 

Hmmm.....Hmmmmmm

Seems she did not inherit her mother's artistic talents

till my next post

Keeping It Real and Showing Up